This last year has been a series of small special moments, big wins, a few big dramas but most recently a new found sense of clarity & calm. As a self confessed control freak, I tend to hold everything so closely & tightly for fear of it all falling apart, a lot of the time I dont actually pause to just enjoy the good in the moments. So I was very surprised to find myself rather at ease with my recent resolve to start letting go & having more faith in the universe to send me what I needed, when I needed it, to trust in the moment, trust in the journey & know that whatever situation I was in, was exactly where I was meant to be. And i kid you not, the last few months have just been a series of 'get fucked' moments & laughing at the seemingly coincidental but perfect timing of things.
For the most part, this journey of growth, is fucking hard - sure there are days of pure bliss when you have complete and utter faith that your life is charmed & you will eventually get everything you ever wished for - but please, dont be fooled into thinking that its easy to maintain that blind faith. Trusting in a higher power, trusting that the universe actually has your back, keeping your vibration raised & your heart open takes an incredible amount of discipline & strength; i battle with myself almost daily. I have doubts every single day, but rather than squash them down or brush them aside, I try to listen to my heart & do my best to find a thread of strength & love and redirect my thoughts there.
Moving to Melbourne has been the best thing that I ever did. Finding new friends, a new routine, a job, a blank page in theory was refreshing, in reality it was daunting AF. I had to realllyyyy reach deep to be brave & trust, for a while it seemed nothing would work out & I was just making an epic mess of everything. I was scrambling to keep it together & was so disappointed with myself! My finances where in tatters, my heart had been drop kicked into a brick wall & the company i was keeping was toxic & self serving. I cant tell you how I rolled out of it relatively unscathed, but like I said, it was small choices every day that eventually led me to the most epic time of my life.
So here's to another lap around the sun & to my last year in my 20's, holy shit. Who knows what it will bring, but im quietly optimistic that this will be my best year yet